


Fall Into Your Arms Again

by stuckatomega



Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-09-17 10:55:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 20,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9320483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuckatomega/pseuds/stuckatomega
Summary: Dan undergoes multiple transitions in his life; moving to uni and changing in his own body.Dyle fic with trans!Dan(Disclaimer: the writer is ftm, like Dan in the fic, and the feelings from Dan are how I felt, and may not be the same for everyone)





	1. Roommates

As I stood in the doorway to my assigned room, I could hear their voices in my head again. Their taunts, their abuse.

I blinked a couple of times, hand gripping my suitcase tightly, and looked at my room assignment letter and read it out loud to myself, muttering. 'Dan Smith... Room 211...' I traced my finger over the name next to mine. 'Kyle Simmons.'

I felt an arm around my shoulder and my eyes widened. 'That's me!' A voice boomed in my ear and I winced slightly. I broke away from him and turned to face him. He had a massive grin on his face, scruffy facial hair, a rucksack slung over one shoulder. He reached his hand out for me to shake. 'I'm Kyle. Your roommate!'

I shook his hand, shaking. I was glad they let this happen but... how could I tell him? Did I need to tell him? I should tell him, just... not yet.

Kyle bounded into the room and threw his bag onto a bed, then stopped briefly and looked up at me, throwing a look that read 'do you mind?'. I nodded and smiled in approval and he continued to bounce around.

I walked in and dropped my stuff onto my bed, wondering where Kyle's stuff was. As if to answer that question, he stopped as if he remembered something, skidded out the room then dragged a large suitcase in behind him.

Kyle heaved his suitcase onto the bed and started pulling out stuff. I sat and watched him, still not sure what to make of my situation. Kyle paused and looked over his shoulder to look at me.

'Are you okay? You haven't said a word...' Kyle frowned.

I looked at him and blinked. 'I, uhm. Yeah,' I said, voice cracking. I panicked slightly. My voice still wasn't as low as I'd like it and I was worried I'd given myself away before I was ready. I blinked again. Might as well just tell him from the off... I thought. 'Kyle, I- I need to tell you something if we're gonna be roommates. Something... important.' Kyle smiled. There was a light in his eyes that made me feel at home. I trusted him already.

I glanced over at the open door and Kyle gave an 'oh!' before walked over, shutting it, and sitting on my bed beside me.

'What's up?' Kyle cocked his head at me.

'Since we, uh, are roommates...' I threaded my fingers together, shaking. 'Y-you seem nice enough...'

Kyle sarcastically rolled his eyes. 'C'mon Smithers! You can tell lil ol' Kyle.'

'I'matransmanKyle,' I blurted out. Tears filled my eyes as I looked at him. I was scared he'd hate me. 'Please don't hurt me or hate me or anything I just thought you should know since we're sharing a room, a-and I'm not fully there yet, and I just need someone to know in case anything happens but-'

Kyle put his arm around my shoulder. 'Danny boy. I wouldn't hate you over that. Besides, I know now. If anyone hurts you, I'll hurt them back.' He winked at me. 'Wouldn't have guessed anyway. You're one handsome boy.' Kyle whistled and I giggled. I was safe and I was so, so glad. 'Besides, I got something I need to get off my chest now.'

I raised my eyebrow at Kyle, wiping a tear off my cheek with my sleeve. 'Y-you don't have to, if you don't want to...'

'Danny boy, you trust me so I trust you.' Kyle ran his hands through his hair. 'I was terrified you'd hate me, too. I'm bi, dude. My parents kicked me out for that. I thought, maybe, you'd be the same.'

We sat in silence for a few moments. I was glad I was sharing a room with this guy.

— — — — —

By the time we finished unpacking and said hello to everyone else in the flat, it was evening. The both of us tired, we passed out in our respective beds fairly quickly, Kyle faster than I. As my eyelids dragged themselves down, I glanced over at Kyle, who laying on his stomach and snoring, muttering incomprehensibly about something. My eyes closed and I embraced sleep.

— — — — —

'G-go away... I am a real man.' I swotted my arms at the girl in front of me. She dissipated into dust.

They're laughing at me again. They're laughing at me.

'Dan! Dan are you ok?!' Kyle's voice snapped me awake and back to reality. I jerked up, panting hard. My eyes were watering. Kyle was knelt next to my bed. 'You were shouting in your sleep.'

'I- sorry.'

'It's ok.' Kyle wiped my eyes with a tissue. 'You'll be safe here. I promise.'

Kyle's eyes were full of sympathy. No... they were full of empathy, and sadness. But that light in his eyes made me feel safe with him around.


	2. Fresher's week

It was halfway through Fresher's Week and we were being dragged to the Fresher's Fair. I sat cross-legged on my bed, hitting a few keys without much thought, whistling a melody.

Kyle burst through the door. 'Smithers, you ready?' Kyle grinned. I rolled my head back and groaned. 'I'll take that as a yes, my friend,' and he grabbed and hand and dragged me out the room.

— — — — —

Kyle still held my hand as he dragged me, half running, down the corridor and across campus to the hall where the fair was being held. We skidded to a halt as we hit the crowd of bodies being bottle-necked into a single door. I looked at Kyle and he looked at me, grinned, then realised he was still holding my hand. He swiftly dropped it and laughed nervously.

'What sorta thing do you wanna see here, Smithers?' Kyle nudged me as we shuffled into the hall.

'I, uh, I was hoping to find my friend here... I didn't really wanna come until it was quieter though...' I scratched the back of my neck, looking down. 'He's a couple of years older than me and I know he runs a music society so I thought maybe he'd let me join it.'

'Dude, the little riffs and ditties you've been making in the room, I'm sure he'll be a-ok with you.' I blushed as Kyle patted me on the back. We continued to awkwardly half-shuffle, half-walk around the crowded hall.

Every few minutes, Kyle would drag me towards a stall. At first I thought he was just enthusiastic about everything and then I realised that 90% of the stalls he went to had free stuff, and that Kyle was stuffing his pockets with said free stuff. There was the rare occasion when he did talk to the stall person. I didn't pay much attention.

I heard someone yell 'Dan' from behind me. I assumed they were calling someone else so I continued to stare at my feet as Kyle talked to someone at a stall.

I heard it again. And a third time.

'Danny boy,' Kyle waved his hand in front of my eyes. 'Daaaaannnyyyyy boooooyyyyyy. Someone's calling for you.'

I looked up and turned my head over my shoulder, not expecting it to be anyone I knew, but...

'Ralph!' I squealed and pushed my way towards his stall. Ralph had a massive grin on his face. 'I was looking for you!'

Ralph ducked under his stall table to get to me, and embraced me in a bear hug. I buried my head in his shoulder and hugged back.

After a few moments, we broke away from one another. 'Looking good there, Daniel.' Ralph smiled at me, looking me up and down. He leant into my ear and whispered, 'If anyone says you don't "right" in any way, tell me and I'll take them on.'

I felt someone poke me in my side and I squirmed slightly. It was Kyle. 'I guess this is Ralph?' he raised an eyebrow, nodding at Ralph.

I gave him a thumbs up and smiled. 'Yeah, this is Ralph. He's my best friend from back home. Ralph, this is Kyle. He's my roommate and a pretty cool dude.' Kyle shot finger guns at Ralph and Ralph gave a hearty chuckle, then did the same back.

'Dan, Kyle, we're having a little party tonight. My lot, the music society,' Ralph gestured to a few others behind the stall table, who were talking to other students, 'are gathering new musicians in the basement of the social area and just seeing if people would like to share their stuff, you know?'

Kyle nodded enthusiastically. 'Smithers, you should play that thing you were messing around with last night!'

Ralph raised an eyebrow at me and smiled as I looked down and blushed. 'I-it's not finished yet...' I said as I stuffed my hands in my pockets.

'You might find someone who helps you finish it. Whether you play it tonight or another night, I'm sure it's good,' Ralph replied. He ruffled my hair a bit and ducked back under his stall table. 'See you tonight, yeah?' I gave him a thumbs up and continued around the hall with Kyle.

— — — — — —

[That evening]

I stood in front of the mirror and pulled on an oversized hoodie. I had a lot of these. They're comfy and, well, hide me. The old me.

'Dan, you look fine. Trust me,' Kyle's voice boomed behind me. I turned around and saw him chilling on his bed, scrolling on his phone. He looked up at me and grinned. 'You ready to go, buddy?'

I shrugged and picked up my keyboard with one hand and fiddled with a hoodie string with the other, staring down at my hand as I did so. 'I'm... still not sure if this is a good idea. I'm not exactly happy with my voice yet...'

Kyle jumped up and grabbed me by the shoulders. 'Then I'll sing for you.' I looked up at his. There was a shining enthusiasm in them, and he gave me the most sincere smile.

'C-can't we just... leave it for now and do it another night...'

Kyle rolled his eyes sarcastically, then patted me on the shoulders. 'If that what you want. I'm not gonna force you to do it.'

'It was your idea though. I can't let Ralph down!'

'He's your friend, he won't be let down.' Kyle took the keyboard from my hand and set it on my desk. 'Tonight, we'll have fun. The music can happen another night. The world shall wait with baited breath for the wonders of Daniel Smith and his wonderful music!'

I couldn't help but smile at this. I didn't care if he meant it or not; it made me feel comfortable. It made me feel safe.

— — — — —

I sat with Kyle and Ralph on a couch in the basement of the social area where the music society was met up. There were plenty of first years like Kyle and I, chatting excitedly with the older students about all sorts of musical stuff over cans of beer and other miscellaneous alcohols.

I took a sip from my beer can as I watched a trio set up some instruments in the corner. I could see a bass guitar, an electric guitar, and a drum set.

Behind them I spied some acoustic instruments - a cello and an acoustic guitar - but I assumed they were for someone else. There was a lot of people here; these three couldn't be the only lot to perform tonight.

'... that right, Dan?' I heard Ralph say.

'Hmmm?' I snapped back to reality.

Ralph chuckled. 'When we were kids, you tried to steal a keyboard from school because you couldn't afford one, remember?'

I let a smile slip through my lips and took another drink from my beer before replying, 'Come on, they let me keep it...'

The trio in the corner made some noise with their kit and a few people cheered. Some cheers came from people who were evidently already drunk.

The little band all had joy on their faces. The tallest plucked his bass a little bit and smiled, scratching his scruffy chin. 'Hey, so, we're just trying a couple things out here. Sorry. We're, uh, looking for a vocalist as well if anyone's amenable to helping us. For now, je vais rock.' The band started playing.

Next to the tall bassist stood a smaller lad. He was more well presented than the tall one and swayed gently as he played a riff on his electric guitar.

Behind the two, the drum kit housed the drummer. I couldn't tell how tall he was compared to the two guitarists but he had magnificent locks of hair.

A few minutes passed and the band finished their piece. Everyone in the room clapped, a few drunken students cheering heartily.

Ralph turned to me, still clapping. 'Hey, Dan. You see the bassist?' I nodded. 'He's in my class. His name is Will. Woody, the drummer, is in mine and Will's year but does a different course. He just really enjoys his drums though. Charlie's your age and only just came here, but he's a good friend of the other two; they've been playing together for years before coming here.'

I was about to ask Ralph a question when I saw Will swap his bass for the cello; the acoustic stuff was theirs after all.

'Whoa, are you kidding me? Dude plays cello as well?' Kyle exclaimed.

Ralph grinned. 'He plays a lot. Bass, cello, upright bass, guitar, keys. He tried to play a show entirely by himself once; they showed me a video of him trying it. A disaster but he looked like he enjoyed it.'

The trio played an acoustic arrangement, Will taking the lead melody on his cello. When they finished, they set their stuff aside and made for the couch where I was sat with Ralph and Kyle.

'Sounded good tonight,' Ralph said as they flopped onto the couch. I downed my drink, suddenly very self-conscious and nervous. Charlie was sat next to me, Will and Woody sat next to Ralph.

My hands shaking, I opened another can of beer. They were closer to me than I would have liked.

I downed my drink. Then opened a third.

'Whoa there dude, a bit star struck?' Charlie punched my arm playfully. I laughed nervously. 'Seriously though man, you don't wanna drink too much...'

I wish I listened to him.

— — — — —

[Three hours and far too many drinks later]

I had drunk far too much in my nervousness. Kyle had drunk a lot as well, but nowhere near as much as I had. He danced with Will and Charlie as a DJ pumped out some electronic beats.

The DJ finished the song and my three dancing friends returned to the couch where I was. Ralph and Woody were chatting to some other friends.

'Hey, Daniel, you don't look too good,' Will looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

I slurred a response, 'Y-you can just call me Dan..'

Kyle fell onto the couch beside me. 'We should get back to the dorm... You look dead and I'm drunker than I'd like to be.' Kyle looked at me. 'A lot less drunk than you though...'

'MmmmmIguess...'

Kyle got back to his feet. Stabilised by Ralph on one side and Kyle on the other, I stumbled back to the dorm.

'I'll get you guys some water,' Ralph said, turning to head to the kitchen as Kyle guided me to my bed.

'There we go Smithy, lie down,' Kyle tried to drop me onto my bed. My drunken self, however, held tight to his shirt as I flopped onto my bed and pulled Kyle down with me. 'Easy, easy!' he yelped as he fell onto my chest, then rolled to the side of me.

My head rolled onto Kyle's shoulder and I mumbled, 'mmm, youhaveagoodbeard... I'm.... jealous...' I started stroking his beard, eyes half closed.

Kyle let out a tipsy giggle. 'Glad you like it, Danny boy...'

Something came over me and I grabbed Kyle's shirt and pulled him towards me. I smashed my lips into his. Kyle stiffened for a moment then relaxed, placing his hands behind my neck. I unclasped his shirt and held his face, fingers buried in his beard.

Kyle's hands started to wander down the back of my shirt. I felt his fingers trace my binder and I pulled away in panic.

'Fuck, I'm sorry,' Kyle slurred. 'I forgot you wear those.'

I scoffed and pulled his face back against mine. We breathed in sync as our lips remained pressed together. Kyle threaded the fingers of one of his hands through the hair on the back of my head, his other hand hooked around my neck. I traced his spine with my fingers. I was at peace in my drunken stupor.

Then the door cracked open.

'Hey guys, I got your wa-' Ralph walked in as Kyle pulled his face away from mine. My face instinctively followed for a second before my head fell onto Kyle's lap in a moment of dizziness. 'Well then, you two.' Ralph laughed and put two glasses of water on my desk. 'Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Besides, you probably won't remember this in the morning.'

Ralph grinned at us and laughed a little before leaving the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. My head remained on Kyle's lap. 'Mmmmm... sure Ralph...' I said a few seconds too late. Then I fell asleep, head still on Kyle's lap.


	3. The 'try' in 'try-outs'

As I slept, their words rang around in my head.

_'Miss Smith, please-'_

_'I-I'm not a miss.'_

_'You'll never be anything else.'_

I tossed and turned until I felt a gentle touch on my arm.

'Hey. Smithy. Wake up. You're ok...'

I opened my eyes to see a concerned, but sleepy, Kyle knelt by my bed, our eyes level. Despite his hungover, tired eyes, there was still a comforting light in them. I relaxed as he gripped one of my hands with both of his.

'Kyle.'

'Danny.'

'I-I woke you up I'm so sorry I-'

Kyle cut me off, 'I don't care. I wanted to make sure you were alright. Trust me. You're safe. You have me, you have Ralph. I won't _ever_ let anyone hurt you.'

I smiled, tears welling up. 'Thank you.' My eyelids drooped and I fell back to sleep, Kyle's hands still gripping mine.

'Sleep tight, Smithy.'

\- - - - -

I woke up in the morning to sunlight streaming onto my face. I squinted. My head hurt and I barely remembered the night before. _Did I dream all that... or did that_ really _happen..._ I pondered to myself.

Kyle walked into the room, carrying a tray with two plates and two glasses of orange juice.

'Morning Daniel! How are we feeling this fine, sunny day?' Kyle was surprisingly chipper. I groaned and buried my head in my pillow as Kyle put the tray on his desk. 'Eek. Not surprised. You drank enough to make the Greek god of wine look like a loser. Although... you drank beer, not wine. So maybe it wouldn't have made him look bad.'

I sat up in bed, duvet pulled around my shoulders. My stomach growled and Kyle laughed, then handed a plate with breakfast on.

'Typical bacon sarnie to cure the hangover, eh...?' I smiled.

Kyle smiled back. 'Of course. The ol' solution to every hangover.' I chomped into it. Kyle took his plate and did like-wise.

I swallowed and looked at Kyle. 'How are you feeling?'

'Huh?'

'You were drunk as well.'

'Nowhere near as wasted as you. I'm fine. I just hope you're feeling alright.'

I nodded in response and scrunched my eyes up in fondness.

A few minutes passed and we ate in silence. As Kyle finished his last bite, he got a flyer off his desk. 'So there's try-outs for the football team today. You wanna go?'

I shrugged. 'If you're going, I guess I will too.'

Kyle's face lit up. 'Alright! Charlie said he was going with Will and Woody when I bumped into him this morning. This will be a hell of a fun time, eh Smithy?'

\- - - - -

[Two hours later]

Kyle and I met Charlie, Will and Woody at the playing field. I felt slightly out of place; Woody was in a full Argyle football kit, Kyle wore a tank top and shorts, Will and Charlie had shorts and t-shirts on. I, on the other hand, was wearing full length joggers and a baggy t-shirt. I didn't feel the part at all.

I turned to Kyle. 'How are you not cold...? It's British autumn.'

'I'm a hard man.'

'...'

The coach blew a whistle and assigned us to positions and teams. My little group all ended up on the same team, with Will and I up front. _Ohhhhh dear god..._ I thought to myself.

The whistle blew and Will ran for the ball. I panicked for a moment then followed. Will tackled the ball off of the opposing team. 'Hey, Dan! Get it!' Will yelled at me as he kicked the ball in my direction.

_Ohmygodohmygodohmygod._

I tried to stop the ball and run with it. I only succeeded in tripping over the ball.

I lay on the floor motionless for a moment. Kyle came up behind me and helped me up. 'C'mon Smithers. No surrender...!'

I ran to support Will again. I tried to tackle the ball off someone and fell backwards. I jumped back to my feet quickly.

The theme of trying and failing continued for the rest of the match. The end game whistle as I fell to the floor again. Charlie helped me to my feet.

The coach told people if they got into the team or not. I was the last person he approached.

'Hey kiddo. Uh... yeah you're not in...'

'I'm not surprised,' I replied.

'... but I have a proposition.' I raised an eyebrow. 'You were passionate, I give you that. Do you want to be the team mascot?'

'I-I guess?' I replied. The coach smiled and handed me a bag with the costume in, then turned and left.

Kyle came up behind me and patted me on the shoulder. 'Guess we're stuck with you,' he joked, gesturing to the bag of kit the coach gave to him.

As Woody and Will came up to us, Charlie playfully punched my arm. 'Show us what the mascot is, c'mon, c'mon.'

Woody stood in front of me and grinned. 'You in the team, too?'

'... not exactly,' I replied. I put the bag on the floor and opened it.

I was met with the fixed grin of a deer mascot head. I heard Charlie give out a 'Hah! That's brilliant!' Looking up, Woody, Will, Kyle and Charlie all had massive grins on their faces. 

'Let me get one thing clear, I am _not_ a furry,' I spluttered.

'Wouldn't care if you were,' Will smiled.

'You'll be _deer_ ly loved by our supporters, Dan,' Charlie grinned.

'Oh my god don't do this to him,' Woody groaned.

'You gotta make sure our crowd isn't _stag_ nant,' Charlie continued.

'Ignore him,' Woody protested. Kyle was laughing to himself. 'Don't encourage him!'

'What's the matter Woody? I'm just telling our friend the _hoof_ , the whole _hoof_ , and nothing but the _hoof_.'

Will let out a noise that sounded like a strangled cat and Kyle laughed even more.

'You're a literal party animal now,' Charlie winked. Then his face got momentarily somber and I raised an eyebrow. '... Danimal...'

Will slapped Charlie around the back of his head.

\- - - - -

I stood in front of the mirror in my dorm room with the bodysuit of the mascot costume on, the deer head in my hands.

A voice niggled at the back of my head. _It's because you're not a real boy._

I shook my head madly. 'Shut up...' I whispered.

_You know it's true. You're not on the team because they know you're not a real boy._

'Shut _up_ ,' I whispered a bit louder.

I couldn't stop them harassing me.

Kyle walked in as I dropped the deer head and punched the mirror. He jumped back in surprise as I collapsed to the floor, hand bleeding.

I curled into a ball. 'I'm not good enough... I'm not... good enough...' I sobbed.

Kyle carefully knelt besides me and slung an arm around my shoulder. 'You're good enough, Danny. Trust me.' Kyle rubbed my shoulder to comfort me as I sobbed. 'Come on. Change back into normal clothes and we'll clear this up.'

Kyle stood up, tread carefully around the shards of the mirror, and picked up my deer head. He placed it onto my desk then helped me up.

Tears still in my eyes, I threw my arms around Kyle and hugged him tightly. 'Thank you,' I whispered into his ear.


	4. Costumes, kittens, and Christmas sweaters

[Several weeks later - October]

Classes had started at uni. Three hour lectures and tonnes of coursework. I didn't regret my english course but there was so much note taking and reading that I rarely had much time to myself.

Kyle wasn't on the same course as me - he was on a media course - which I was admittedly sad about. I think he could tell because whenever he came back to me in our dorm room after editing or filming, or me to him after I was working in the library, he'd give me a great bear hug. I really enjoyed those.

One afternoon, I was working at my desk when Kyle came in. I looked up and smiled and went back to writing.

Kyle came behind me and hugged me. 'Danny boy.'

'Simmo.'

'How do you feel about cats?'

I gently pried Kyle's arms from me and turned around in my chair. 'They're alright. Why?'

'No reason. Just wondering. I was thinking about cats. I really like cats. I'm glad you like cats.'

Kyle continued to talk about cats for about ten minutes, telling me about different breeds and their characteristics. I smiled. It was cute.

[Halloween]

Despite us all being adults, everyone in the dorm was dressing up, partying, and trick-or-treating. Kyle was as excited as a kid on their first time doing anything for Halloween. He was dressed in a tiger onesie, and I was dressed as a Ghostbuster, backpack and all.

We got to Woody and Will's dorm room, where we were meeting before a Halloween party. The pair welcomed us in, Ralph and Charlie were already there. Ralph was dressed as a cowboy, Will as Superman, Woody was in a dinosaur onesie and Charlie... looked like a mafia leader?

'Charlie,' I raised an eyebrow, 'what... are you dressed as?'

He slide sunglasses over his eyes and put on a bad New York accent. 'I'm one of the men in black.' I laughed and patted his back. We all had a few drinks - Ralph making sure I didn't drink too much... - then we went out to the main party in the basement.

A couple of hours into the party, Kyle pulled me outside of the main basement room and into the bathrooms. Kyle was rather drunk.

'You know...' Kyle started. 'You have good lips.'

I gave him a thin smile. 'You have good lips too...' I kissed him.

Kyle kissed me on the forehead and took a couple of steps backwards. 'I... need to get out of this... it's too warm...'

Without asking me if it was ok, he stripped the onesie off in front of me. All he had underneath were his boxers and a tight tank top. I blushed deeply and tore my eyes away from his chest. 'Y-you look good.' I scratched the back of my neck, feeling the heat from my skin. I went to the sinks and turned the tap on and splashed my face with water.

Kyle kicked the leg of his onesie of his foot and wobbled towards me. 'You must be warm in that jumpsuit.'

I blushed again. I was _incredibly_ warm, largely because I had a shirt and joggers on underneath. 'Y-yeah...' I slung the backpack onto the floor and unbuttoned the top of my jumpsuit.

Suddenly, Kyle's hands were on top of mine and my whole suit was unbuttoned. I struggled to shrug it off. In trying to kick the legs off, I tripped over myself. Kyle caught me and held me close to his chest. I stayed there a moment, enjoying it, then untangled myself from his arms and leant myself against a wall and got the jumpsuit off.

As I stood up straight, Kyle was suddenly in my face, his arms on either side of me, his hands against the wall, pinning me in position.

'Heyyyyyyyyyy Danny boy.' Kyle booped me on the nose, then repositioned his hand on the wall next to my head. 'I think.... I like you.'

I giggled. 'I like you too.'

'Noooo Danny.... I meant _like like_ you...'

'So did I.'

Kyle's lips slammed against mine. Our bodies moved in time. I wrapped my arms around his neck and Kyle wrapped his arms around my waist.

The door opened behind us and we didn't notice at first. 'Dan, Kyle, are you in here? Ralph's looking for y-'

Charlie turned the corner and saw the pair of us. We pulled away from each other and looked over to him. I gave a nervous smile and Kyle span around drunkenly, giving Charlie a thumbs up. Then stumbled. Charlie caught him.

I picked Kyle's onesie off the floor. 'We... should get Kyle to bed...' Charlie nodded in agreement.

[Mid-November]

It was cold now and lots of people were running around getting ready for Christmas. Kyle had put up a small Christmas tree on the windowsill of our dorm room and we had both decorated the room with tinsel and the like.

'What's the rule on pets in the dorm rooms?' Kyle perked up as we hung a banner across the wall.

'What?'

'Pets. Are we allowed pets?'

'I think we can have fish.'

Kyle pouted, 'fish are boring.'

'No they're not!' I pouted back. 'They're really pretty...' I gazed out the window, Kyle watching me. '... I might go and get a fish...'

Kyle laughed. 'I'll buy you a fish...'

[December]

There was a week of lectures left before we could go home. Kyle just seemed so dejected the whole time.

I came back to the dorm one evening to Kyle curled up in his bed, crying.

'Ky?' I knelt beside his bed.

'I-I can't... go home...' he sniffed. 'Remember? I'm gonna be alone here this Christmas...'

I held his hand and wiped tears from his eyes with my sleeve. 'Come to mine. I'll ask my parents but I'm sure they'll let you stay in the spare room.'

Kyle swung his legs off the side of his bed, sat up, and hugged me. 'Thank you, Danny.'

—————

The next day, my lecture was shortened, so I went back to my dorm to see Kyle. As I walked in, Kyle threw the covers over him in panic.

I stared at him. 'Kyle?' He looked guilty of something as he plastered a grin on his face. There was a bump in the covers. 'Oh, Kyle, really? In here?'

'It's not what it looks like!' Kyle exclaimed.

I raised an eyebrow at him. 'Seriously? Couldn't you go to the showers? Jesus, Kyle, that's gross. H-how were you planning to clean up after yours-'

'Meow.'

'... Kyle. Did you just meow...'

Kyle laughed nervously and flung the covers off. I shielded my eyes then peeked through my fingers.

I saw a small, black kitten sat on Kyle's bed. I lowered my hands.

'I told you. It's not what it looks like.' Kyle scooped the kitten up and cooed at it. 'I've named her Twilight. Nobody wanted her because she's a black cat, so the seller gave her to me for cheap.'

I sat on Kyle's bed next to him, and he handed the kitten over to me. 'Hello Twilight,' I said as I scratched her behind the ear. She mewed happily and I smiled. 'I love her but... how are we gonna look after her? We can't keep her here...'

Kyle shrugged. 'I don't know. If anyone finds me with her, I'm gonna say I found her abandoned. I'm not giving her up. She's the only family I've got.'

Kyle sniffed and I handed Twilight back to him. 'I'll talk to Ralph. He's getting a flat near here with Will and Woody. Maybe we can keep her there.'

[Christmas Day]

My parents agreed to let Kyle stay with us over Christmas. We took Twilight home with us too. My mum and sister absolutely _adored_ her.

The morning of Christmas, Kyle bounced onto my bed. _Really_ early in the morning.

Kyle sat on the edge of my bed and I groaned, looking at the time on my phone. 'Mmmmm, Kyle... it's 7am...'

Kyle wormed his way under my duvet. I shuffled over as he lay next to me, our faces close. Kyle pulled the duvet over both of our heads. 'Merry Christmas, Danny boy.' Kyle pulled something out of his pocket in his pyjama pants. 'It's not the only thing I've got for you but it's the first thing I wanted to give you.'

I took the tiny present and unwrapped it carefully. It was a new calculator watch. I smiled. Before uni broke up for the Christmas holidays, my old one broke after I forgot to take it out my jeans pocket and it went through the wash. Kyle must have realised. 'Oh Kyle... thank you.' I gave him a massive hug. 'I need to get some more sleep, Simmo,' I yawned.

'I-I'll go back to my room then,' Kyle sighed.

'No... stay here...' I said, pulling the duvet down so I could breath again. I put the watch on my bedside table and wrapped my arms around Kyle. And we both drifted off back to sleep.

— — — — —

'Good morning, Daniel, Kyle,' I heard my mum say. I blinked a couple of times to see my mum in the doorway of my room, smiling. Kyle was still asleep, his head on my chest. I blushed deeply. 'I'm so glad you to are happy together,' she said, setting down two wrapped presents at the foot of my bed. 'Open these when you're ready. I'd like you to wear them.' Mum winked and laughed a little, then left my room and shut the door gently behind her.

Kyle groaned and yawned, opening his eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair and rolled off of me, standing up and stretching. He saw the presents at the foot of my bed. 'Holy shit. One's for me.' He smiled sleepily and reached for his present. I sat up in my bed and reached for mine. We opened our presents together.

Kyle let out a laugh as we both shook the wrapping off the jumpers my mum had got us. Mine had a reindeer on with a squeaky nose, and Kyle's had a polar bear on. I grinned massively, then noticed there was a small, third present. I raised my eyebrow and opened it.

'Oh my _gosh_ ,' I said as I had unwrapped a tiny Santa sweater that was clearly for Twilight, who was sleeping on a bed in the corner of my room. Kyle squeaked a little, took the tiny sweater, and ran over to Twilight.

'Hey baby girl,' he whispered to her, waking her gently. He carefully slipped the sweater onto her and squealed. 'Danny, look at her!' he held her up as she meowed. He cuddled her, then handed her to me. I scratched her behind the ear and then set her on the floor.

'Kyle, do you mind going back to your room while I get changed?' I asked Kyle. He smiled and nodded, taking his sweater and leaving.

I got changed and brushed my teeth, then made my way downstairs with the kitten. Kyle came down a few minutes later. We exchanged presents, then spent the rest of the morning playing with Twilight.

In the afternoon, snow fell heavily. Kyle and I stood at the window, watching it.

'Hey Smithers,' Kyle spoke up. 'D'ya wanna go out there and have fun?' Kyle grinned at me and I smirked back, nodding.

The pair of us pulled on coats, shoes, hats, scarves, and gloves, and raced outside. Snow kept falling and looked up to the sky. Snowflakes stuck in my hair. I closed my eyes, at peace.

Then Kyle threw a snowball at me, hitting me in the stomach.

'Hey!' I yelped, grinning. I grabbed some snow and threw back at him, missing dramatically. He threw another and I ducked to avoid it. I quickly formed another snowball and chucked it, this time hitting Kyle in the shoulder. Kyle ran over to me and tackled me, the pair of us landing in soft snow. We rolled over, Kyle beneath me, and we laughed.

We played around in the snow for the rest of the afternoon.

— — — — —

Kyle, my family, and I sat around the dinner table. We pulled crackers to start off Christmas dinner. Kyle stuck his hat on and smiled at me, his eye scrunching up in happiness. I smiled back.

Dad coughed and we all looked at him. He raised his glass. 'I propose a toast to us. Kyle, Dan, whether you're together or not, I don't know. But just know that Kyle will _always_ have a place here at our table. You will be safe here. Both of you.' Dad smirked. 'The cat, too, if need be.'

I blushed deeply, looking over at Kyle. Kyle had tears in his eyes as he smiled at my dad.

My dad continued, 'Christmas is for family. Blood doesn't make family. Kyle, you're our family now. So, this is to family, and for happiness within it.'

We chinked our glasses together and started with dinner, Kyle's eyes still wet. I looked over to him. He had never looked more happy.


	5. [[Bonus chapter]] Ralph's balcony

[November]

Ralph's phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out to look at the message. 

 _'You can move into the flat on December 1st,'_  it read. Ralph smiled and slipped the phone back into his pocket, glad to be able to move out of the cramped dorms.

[December]

Ralph and Will set down the sofa in their new living room. Will huffed out a breath and stretched.

'I wish Woody would help us,' Will rolled his eyes.

Ralph laughed. 'He's in class you dummy.' He rolled up his sleeves and looked at Will. 'Time to get the table.'

 _Buzz, buzz._  Ralph checked his phone. 

 

Ralph looked at Will, and Will raised an eyebrow. 'How do you feel about cats?'

Will furrowed his brows. 'I like 'em.'

'What about Woody?'

Will scoffed. 'Dunno. Why are you asking me these things?' Ralph showed his screen to Will and Will smiled. 'Christ, that's a cute kitty. Let her stay here.'

\- - - - -

The boys all decided to not let the kitten officially move in to the flat until the New Year, but they bought her over before Christmas to check kitten-proofing while everyone could help watch her. Ralph had tied wooden boards around the bars on his balcony to make sure the kitten wouldn't fall through them. 

Ralph stood on the balcony, Dan beside him. The pair looked out over the city. In the living room, Kyle and Charlie sat on the floor as Twilight wondered around. Will sat on the sofa beside Woody, acoustic in hand, and started playing a little riff. Twilight sat and watched him curiously, tilting her head side to side to hear him better.

Ralph and Dan walked back into the living room and sat on the floor with Charlie and Kyle, forming a circle around the little kitten. The six of them sat and listened to Will sing Rihanna, watching the kitten mew along. 


	6. Fireworks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: biphobia, abuse

I woke up on Boxing Day to Kyle's legs wrapped around mine, his arms around my waist, and Twilight curled up on my chest. I shuffled slightly and Twilight uncurled, meowed at me, then jumped to the floor. I moved my legs and Kyle squeezed me tighter. I sighed, ran my fingers through Kyle's hair, and closed my eyes again.

\- - - - -

This is how we woke up together for the next five days. At some point, we had wordlessly agreed that we were... something. We were comfortable with this closeness.

Despite the cold nights, Kyle always slept in a tank top and boxers. He was always so warm to the touch. I, on the other hand, always had full length trousers and long sleeve shirts. Kyle was like a hot water bottle and I certainly wasn't gonna force him to sleep in his own bed any time soon.

Kyle jerked awake with a yell, startling me awake. He was panting heavily.

'Kyle? Are you alright?' I asked him in alarm.

'I. Just. Nightmares... bad memories...' Kyle buried his head into my chest and I held him tightly.

'Do you wanna talk?' I asked, rubbing his back with my hand to comfort him.

Kyle nodded. 'It was last year. My parents said I could only stay with them until my A Levels were finished, then I had to go.'

Kyle sniffed and squeezed into me. I said to him, 'you don't have to tell me.'

'N-no. I do. Because I get this specific flashback a lot. And I can't just keep dusting it off my shoulders if we're gonna be roommates.

'It was New Year's Eve and my parents had gone out. I was alone at home. All I wanted was to get that New Year's Eve kiss, you know? W-with a boy I liked then. I Skype'd him that night, th-then my parents came home early.

'Despite my best efforts, they realised that I was talking to him. "Kyle, we've told you, you are not allowed to talk to that boy" they said. I tried to pretend I wasn't. Mum threw a shoe at me. Yelled at me for ages. Dad was drunk and hit me.

'They took my laptop away. Took my phone away. Hell, they took me to church; they're not even technically religious.'

Kyle had teared up and I felt his tears soak into my shirt. I hugged him tighter.

'E-every now and then, I remember that night. The night of my parents screaming at me, calling me a mistake, saying how they wish I was like my cousins.'

Kyle was sobbing into me now and I kept a tight hold on him, rubbing his back to comfort him.

That was the moment I realised that I loved this boy. That I _truly_ loved this boy, and I would look after him in any way I could.

\- - - - -

Kyle had fallen back to sleep and I rolled him off my chest and went downstairs.

'Morning, honey,' mum greeted me. 'How's Kyle?' Mum examined the look on my face and frowned. 'Not good, huh. I'll make a cup of tea for him. And you, sweetheart.'

'Is there anywhere near doing fireworks tonight, mum?' I asked as I pulled milk out the fridge.

Mum paused for a minute. 'I think the nearby private school is holding an event. You know, on the hill? If you want to go, I'll buy you entry tickets.'

I put the milk on the worktop and hugged mum, 'thanks for paying for my date,' then ran off back to my room.

As I got to the stairs, I heard mum laugh slightly, 'oh Daniel, you sweet boy.'

With Kyle still asleep, I quickly stripped out of my pyjamas and pulled on my binder, my black jeans, and my new shirt from Kyle from Christmas: a Twin Peaks shirt.

As I jumped to pull my jeans on, I stumbled and fell to the floor, crashing against the wardrobe. The noise woke Kyle.

'Wha- who's there? Am I being robbed?' he slurred tiredly.

I buttoned my jeans up and pulled myself up. I jokingly pulled my shirt over my nose and mouth and held my hand in a finger gun at Kyle. 'Yeah kiddo you're being robbed I'm here to steal your heart.'

'What did you say? I didn't hear you...' Kyle rolled over.

'For real?'

'Yeah.' Kyle gestured vaguely at me. 'Your shirt muffled you.'

I was kind of glad he didn't hear me. 'Doesn't matter. I was just pretending to rob you.' I smiled and Kyle gave a tired smile back, running his hands through his hair.

Kyle got out of bed and pulled off his tank top. At this precise, awkward moment, mum walked in with our tea. She wordlessly looked between Kyle and I and I hurriedly took the tea from her and shut the door behind her.

'.... anyway...' I muttered as I set Kyle's tea down on my bedside table, my cheeks flushing red.

\- - - - -

'Kyle, where are you taking us?' I asked. He'd borrowed my mum's car (with permission, of course), and asked me to come with him. Then blindfolded me, much to my protest.

'You'll see, Danny boy. You'll see. You'll love it, I promise.'

I adjusted the blindfold as it slid down my face slightly. 'Are you sure you're not kidnapping me?'

'Why would I kidnap you with your mother's car?'

'I... I don't know.'

The car drew to a halt and I heard Kyle get out. I sat and twiddled my thumbs. Kyle opened my door and I went to pull the blindfold off when Kyle said 'not yet Smithy.'

I sighed and Kyle guided me someplace. When we got to our destination, Kyle placed his hands over the blindfold and pulled it off.

I opened my eyes and blinked as the sun blinded me. When my vision cleared, I saw we were in our dorm room, and in front of me sat a large, beautifully set up fish tank on the cabinet.

'Kyle...' I whispered. 'Holy fuck... Y-you didn't do this, did you?'

Kyle grinned. 'Not on my own. I figured, since you wanted a fish, that we'd help you with that. This is a joint present from me, Ralph, Charlie, Will and Woody. It's New Year's and there'll be sales if you wanna go off and pick some fish now...'  Kyle wiggled his eyebrows up and down at me.

I wrapped my arms around Kyle. 'Not today. I've got plans for tonight.' I pulled away and grinned, mimicking Kyle's wiggly eyebrows.

'Oooohhhhh, Dan-i-el!' Kyle mocked and lightly punched me on the arm.

I gently shoved him as a retort. 'Not like _that_ , Mr Simmons!'

\- - - - -

That evening, it was my turn to have Kyle blindfolded in the car. I can't drive though, so mum had to drive us to the fireworks site...

Kyle and I sat in the back of mum's car. I had the entry tickets in my pocket and Kyle spent the whole journey guessing where we were going, my mum laughing every now at then at Kyle's answers (which ranged from 'Liverpool' to 'Madagascar' to 'the depths of Hell').

Mum dropped us off and winked at me as she gave us a 'have fun, boys!' I blushed and guided Kyle to the top of the hill.

'It's fucking cold, Danny.' Kyle shivered.

'I told you to bring a jacket...' I sighed. 'Don't worry, I bought yours with us because I knew you'd need it.' I rolled my eyes and helped a blind Kyle shrug his bomber jacket on.

'So, what's the big reveal?'

'Just... wait a little longer.' I checked my watch. Two minutes until the fireworks started. They always started with Catherine wheels, and we were in prime position to see it all. To my surprise, we were the only people on the hill.

One minute.

'What are we doing Danny...' Kyle moaned.

I smirked. 'Few more seconds.'

The first Catherine wheel lit up, and I untied the blindfold. Kyle saw the Catherine wheels and his face lit up.

'Holy shit, fireworks! I love fireworks!' Kyle looked like an excited kid.

I scratched the back of my head. 'I, uh... hope you enjoy the show. I just, uhm...' I trailed off. Kyle looked at me and tilted his head. 'W-we've been, you know, what we were, f-for a while now?' I twisted my fingers together.

'You alright, Smithers?' Kyle raised an eyebrow at me.

'WhatI'mtryingtosayiscanwebeofficialboyfriends' I spat the words out in a train then buried my head in my hands. 'Sorry,' I mumbled.

Kyle took my hands in his. 'Let's fucking do it.'

As the first fireworks flew into the air and exploded into light, Kyle's lips pressed against mine and we kissed deeply - for the first time while sober - as fireworks lit up all around us, sparking like the fire in our hearts.


	7. Girls // The Winter Ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: transphobia

We went back to uni a couple of days after New Year. Now that him and I were... a thing, I'd noticed that Kyle appeared popular among the girls. One group of four girls - in Kyle's media course, so he said - would always say hi to him. Thinking about it, they were at a fair few of his football practise sessions too.

Kyle assured me that there was nothing to worry about: 'Danny, you're _my boyfriend_ , those girls aren't even that cute to me, and they act like high schoolers. Seriously, I couldn't date a girl who thinks our 36 year-old professor is the epitome of a sex god like they do.' This make me laugh.

During one of our mutually free days, Kyle and I were kicking a football to one another to help him practise. I, however, was still completely inept at it. I kicked the ball towards Kyle and it veered dramatically to the left.

'Ohhh fuck I'm sorry.'

'It's fine,' Kyle smiled at me and jogged after the ball to fetch it. As he dribbled it back, the media girls followed a short distance behind.

'Heyyyy Kyle,' a tall, blonde girl swooned, 'you going to the winter ball?'

The winter ball was held at the end of January. Ice skating, dancing, live music, everything. There were posters all around campus for it.

Kyle shrugged. 'Dunno. Probably. Looks fun.'

A brunette chimed in, 'oooohhhh who you gonna taaaake?' The others whispered to each other behind him as Kyle looked over to me and raised an eyebrow. I shrugged.

A shortish redhead punched Kyle on the arm. 'C'mon, it's clearly me, right?'

Kyle let out a nervous laugh. 'Ladies, laadiiess... I'm taken.'

An 'oooooh!' went through the group.

'Who's the lucky lady?' One with bobbed, lilac hair asked.

'Uhhh...' Kyle picked up the football and backed away from the girls and towards me. He flung an arm around my shoulder and grinned.

The girls tried to not look disappointed. 'That's... great, Kyle...!' the brunette said through gritted teeth.

They turned and departed; I heard a couple whispering 'is that his boyfriend...?', 'no way that's a boy' and the like

I groaned. 'Fuck... they hate me...'

Kyle squeezed me. 'Sod them. We'll rock that winter ball, eh? If you want to, of course.'

I smiled and nodded. Kyle ruffled my hair and kissed me on the forehead. I felt warm inside.

\- - - - -

'Do you wanna go to the ball, Danny?' Kyle asked me from his bed across the room.

I looked up from my desk. 'I guess?' I replied.

Kyle jumped from his bed. 'We're going suit shopping, c'mon Smithy.' Kyle took my hand and dragged me out the room, grabbing both of our jackets as we went.

We half-ran down the corridors, hand in hand. Kyle had a wide grin on his face.

'Kyle....! I can't really afford a suit you know...!' He turned to look at me and winked. 'You've been thinking about this for a while haven't you?!' He nodded.

We nearly collided with the media girls as we skidded around a corner. One grabbed Kyle before we could escape.

'Kyle, you could do so much better, you know,' she whispered to Kyle.

Kyle forced her hand off of his arm, and rebuked, 'if I wanted better than Danny, I certainly wouldn't find it with _any of you._ ' He practically spat the last part of his sentence. Kyle wrapped his arm around my waist and dragged me away.

'We know about your _girlfriend_ , Kyle Simmons!' One shouted. I froze. Kyle looked at me, glared behind him, then pulled me along.

'I... I....' My voice stuck.

'I don't know how they know about that,' Kyle sighed. He hugged me close.

\- - - - -

We arrived at a local tailor twenty minutes later.

'You know I've never shopped for a suit before, right?' I asked Kyle as he practically pushed me towards the tailor.

'Relax,' Kyle waved a hand at me, then nodded at the tailor to do my measurements. I stood awkwardly as the tailor made his way around my body, lifting my arms and measuring every part of me.

Measurements taken, the tailor conversed with Kyle, not loud enough for me to hear. I stood there awkwardly, threading my fingers together.

Kyle and the tailor picked out an outfit for me, then Kyle handed it to me. 'Go on, try it on,' he said as he gently pushed me towards the changing room. He turned, and the tailor got to work taking his measurements. I stared at Kyle. 'Go on!' he grinned, winking.

I carefully stripped to my underwear, then slid the outfit on: white button down shirt, black trousers, black and grey waistcoat, blue bowtie. There wasn't any shoes here so I stood there in my socks. _If I knew this would happen, I would have worn normal socks..._ I thought as I looked down at my feet. A blue dinosaur on the socks on each foot looked back. I wiggled my toes, lost in thought.

Kyle knocked on the wall separating our changing rooms. 'You ready?' his muffled voice came.

I nodded, then realised he couldn't see me. 'Y-yeah, I'm dressed.'

'Come out after three!'

I rolled my eyes as Kyle counted down. As he said 'zero', I ducked out nervously.

Kyle threw his arms wide then pointed at me, grinning and laughing happily. I laughed back in joy. He wore a navy suit jacket and matching trousers, grey button down shirt underneath, and a black tie. He was also in socks, but they were plain white.

Kyle came over and bear hugged me. 'Danny boy, you look amazing!' Kyle pulled away from the hug, held my face and kissed me on the nose.

The tailor clapped.

Kyle looked at my socks. I laughed nervously. 'Nice socks, Smithers.'

'Kyle... I can't pay for this...' I said in a hushed voice.

Kyle gently punched my arm. 'Relax. The tailor is my uncle. He took me in when my parents kicked me out. I texted him earlier and he's completely fine with you just taking the outfit.'

I bit my lip as I held back tears and hugged Kyle. Kyle hugged me back and I felt him rest his head on mine.

\- - - - -

We got dressed back into our normal clothes and Kyle's uncle put our outfits in suit bags. We carried the outfits back to our dorm room.

After we put our outfits into our wardrobes, Kyle went to leave the room. 'Just popping to see someone,' he smiled, then firmly shut the door.

I flopped onto my bed and started reading my book when there was a knock on the door. Thinking it was Kyle forgetting his keys, I rolled my eyes and opened the door, 'You moron.' Only to be met by the media girls grinning at me. 'Ohhhhhhhh fuck no,' I panicked, trying to shut the door.

One of them stuck her foot in the door and all four of them came in. I panicked more.

'Y-you can't be in here...'

One of them shut the door. 'We've got plans for you missy.'

'I-I'm not a girl!' I yelled.

'You were born as one, so you are one,' the blonde shrugged.

'Shut the fuck up,' I scowled quietly. 'How do you know anyway...'

'Broke into the head's office, found your file,' the redhead smirked.

I heard a _riiiiiipp_ of duct tape as I was shoved onto my bed.

'H-hey, what the fuck are y-'

'Shut up.... gonna show Kyle how pathetic you are.'

I tried to get up and push past them but my twiggy frame did nothing to help me as the redhead held me down, the brunette wrapping duct tape around my wrists.

'Fuck! Off!' I kicked at them, squirming like my life depended on it.

'Not very lady like is it,' scoffed the blonde. She rolled her eyes and the brunette stuck tape over my mouth.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck_

I squeezed my eyes shut as two of them grabbed my legs.

_I'm going to die I'm going to die please help me_

As if some god was looking down on me, I heard the door slam open.

'What the _FUCK_ are you doing to my best mate?!' I heard Ralph's voice boom.

I opened my eyes slowly to see Ralph standing angrily in the doorway, Kyle gritting his teeth behind him.

'Get the fuck away from him and come with me,' demanded Ralph. He was a student rep here, I'd found out, so people respected him a lot.

He herded the girls out, yelling at them.

Kyle ran over to me and wiped tears from my eyes. 'Hey, shh, it's ok. They're wrong, you're the best boy I could ask for.'

I winced as he pulled the tape from my mouth. 'H-how did you...'

'You butt-dialed me. Hold still.' Kyle unwrapped the tape wrapped around my ankles over my socks. He looked at me, wiped my eyes again, then looked at my wrists. Kyle grabbed scissors and carefully cut me free.

I flung my arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder.

'... bitches will never have be seen by him again.' I heard footsteps and a voice that stopped at our door. I looked up. I could just make out Will in the doorway. 'Hey kiddo.' Will invited himself in.

'H-hey, W-Will,' I stammered, sniffing.

'Honestly, I wanted to beat the crap outta them for you. If they ever come near you again, I will.'

'Thanks...'

Kyle kept hugging me, silently and tightly. Will gave me a hearty pat on the back and smiled. He got up and left quietly, shutting the door.

\- - - - -

A fortnight passed. I always had someone with me, which... I was glad of. Woody talked about shoving his drumsticks into unmentionable places if those girls came anywhere near me. Charlie took me shopping for no reason other than to make me feel better. He also made me some damn fine cups of coffee.

One evening, Kyle and I were playing Mario Kart together - I kept beating Kyle, much to his dismay - when Ralph knocked at the door.

Kyle opened the door and invited him in, and we all sat on my bed.

'So, some good news,' Ralph smiled. ' _Those_ girls are being kicked out.'

'Yoooooooo dude!' Kyle exclaimed.

Ralph nodded and continued: 'Not just for what they did to Danny, but for other reasons too. They're been filming illegally, one did drugs in her dorm room as well.'

Kyle whistled and looked at me. I smiled at him.

Ralph draped his arm over my shoulders. 'Nobody hurts my best mate.' He scruffed my hair playfully and stood up. 'I should go. Gotta help with the Winter Ball tomorrow.'

'Shit, it's tomorrow?!' I yelped in surprise.

Ralph nodded slowly. 'We'll be watching out for you two. Trust me, if anyone says or does anything against you, I can kick them out.'

Like when we were younger, Ralph made a finger gun and pretended to shoot me, winking. I pretended to be wounded and smiled back as Ralph left.

\- - - - -   
The next night was the Winter Ball. Kyle was in the ensuite shower as I worked a bit more.

He stumbled out of the ensuite in a towel, nearly dropping it. 'I-I forgot my clothes.' He muttered, securing the towel around his waist. I stared at him as he moved. There was something about his body that had me dumbstruck.

I tore my eyes away and back to my work as he turned towards me. He tapped me on the shoulder.

'Go shower, Danny boy. I'll get changed in here.' I nodded and got up, got my stuff and climbed into the shower.

I showered quickly and pulled my outfit on. My hair flopped over my eyes as I did my bowtie up in the mirror.

'Kyle!' I yelled through the door.

'Yeah?' He yelled back.

'Can I use your hair gel? My hair is too floppy!'

'Sure Danny!'

I stuck my fingers into the gel and slicked my hair back.

I opened the ensuite door to see Kyle standing, waiting for me.

'You... look amazing...!' Kyle exhaled.

I fiddled with my cuff links. 'You look better,' I murmured.

Kyle looped his arm around mine and smiled. 'Shall we, Smithy?'

I smiled and Kyle led me out.

The first thing we did was try the ice skating. We were both dreadful at it. We'd been on the ice for two minutes when I slipped, instinctively grabbed for Kyle, and pulled him tumbling down. Someone skated over to us and helped us up.

We gave up shortly after and went to the dance floor. Ralph was on stage with his band and he gave us a thumbs up. His band proceeded to play a slow tempo song. Will was on stage with them, accompanying with his cello.

Kyle offered me his hand and smiled. I took it and he pulled me close, placing his other hand on my shoulder. I pulled my hand from his and hooked my hands around the back of his neck. I leant my forehead against his chest as we swayed to the music in the dim light. We danced into the night, holding one another tightly, comfortable silence between us.

The ball ended and the pair of us sleepily made our way back to the dorm room. Kyle stripped to his boxers and collapsed face first into bed. I quickly changed into my pyjamas and threw my outfit over the back of the chair at my desk.

I was about to climb into my own bed when Kyle made a strange whining noise. I turned to face him and he was waving his hand wildly in a 'come here' gesture. I walked over and he grabbed me by the shirt and rolled onto his back, pulling me into his bed.

Kyle rolled the pair of us so he ended up on top of me. He pinned my wrists above my head with one of his hands and kissed me gently. I closed my eyes and let him kiss a trail down my neck and on my collar bone.

'You know... you're perfect to me...' Kyle muttered. 'My boyfriend... my cute lil boyfriend...'

He kissed me deeply, placing his free hand behind my neck. I didn't even try to free myself from his grip; I just kissed him.

Kyle released my wrists and rolled off me onto his side. I rolled onto my side too and Kyle hugged me from behind me, his leg wrapped around my waist.

Intertwined, we fell asleep as the stars shone through our window.


	8. My deer, my deer, oh deer

The day after the Winter Ball was the first football match of the year. Kyle woke up early to get some practise before the match that afternoon; his alarm woke the both of us up and he untangled himself from my arms.

I sat up sleepily in bed as Kyle got dressed then opened the door to get breakfast. 'Hmm.... Kyle hold on...'

Kyle smiled at me gently. 'It's ok. You don't need to hurry. Do you want a coffee?'

'Coffee... sounds good...' I ran my hand through my hair, ruffled my hair, and yawned. Kyle nodded and headed out the door.

Kyle returned a few minutes later as I was brushing my teeth. He'd bought me some toast as well and he was sat on his bed, eating his own cereal.

'Your hair is a mess, Smithy,' mumbled Kyle as he munched his cereal. I shrugged and finished brushing my teeth.

'When do we need to be at the field?' I asked, picking up my toast and sitting next to Kyle.

'You don't need to be there the whole time, Danny. You're the mascot. No offence.'

'But I wanna be. For you.'

Kyle kissed me on the cheek. 'That's sweet. But you really don't have to. It's cold.'

I laughed, 'the fursuit would keep me warm,' and kissed him back.

We finished breakfast and - despite Kyle's protests that I should 'go back to bed, or something' - I came along to practise, carrying my deer costume in my backpack, and the stupidly, dumb, grinning face of the deer in my hands.

\- - - - -

'Oi oi, it's Kyle and Danny the Deer!' cheered Will as Kyle and I arrived at the pitch. My cheeks flushed red.

'Can I try the head on, Dan? I wanna be a _deer_ leader' Charlie poked me. I rolled by eyes, smiling, and handed it to him. He put it on. The dead eyes glared at me as the deer head engulfed Charlie's.

'Charles, that's _far_ too big for you,' laughed Kyle.

Charlie turned his whole body to look at Kyle and the head swivelled around a bit. 'Yeah. You're right. Maybe your big head will fit better in it.' Kyle stuck his middle fingers up at Charlie.

Woody pulled the deer head off Charlie and stuck it onto my head. 'Our good boy, Danny the deer.'

'Don't you mean our _deer_ friend?'

'Charlie shut the fuck up,' said Kyle, Will, and Woody in unison.

'Didn't you tell that one already?' I asked, my voice muffled by the deer head. This thing was too big for me as well, and I could barely see. I took the thing off.

Charlie shrugged. 'Might have. I _doe_ n't see why I can't tell it again though.' Will punched Charlie in the arm. 'Dude! Fuck off.'

The others jogged onto the field to join the others after the coach blew the whistle, Kyle kissing me on the forehead before he went. I sat on the sidelines and watched.

I didn't watch for long as I fell asleep, curled on the bench. Kyle woke me up gently and I found that I was hugging the deer head.

'Not to say I told you so, but...' Kyle smiled, kneeling in front of me. 'Go back to the dorm room, sleepy head.'

'Mmmm.... fine...' I swung my legs around to stand up and went back to my bed.

\- - - - -

That afternoon, the match was to be played. I arrived back at the pitch in my deer suit, carrying the soulless head under my arm.

'Danny the deer has reappeared,' cheered Woody.

'Don't you mean...' Charlie grinned

'Charlie Barnes, don't you _dare...'_

'...rea- _deer_ -ed.'

'I hate you so much.'

I put the deer head on and pranced around as the crowd began to form.

\- - - - -

After the match, Kyle and I made our way back to our dorm room, the pair of us elated at their victory. Kyle got in the shower as I got back into normal clothes.

As I heard the shower start up, I flopped onto my bed and gazed at the fish tank. It was all set up: water in the tank, oxygen on, plants and decorations carefully placed - just no fish.

'Kyle!' I shouted.

'What is it?' he shouted back.

'Can you drive me to the pet shop?'

The shower shut off. 'I don't see why not.'

Kyle got dried and dressed and the pair of us made our way to the pet shop.

At the pet shop, I bought myself a red betta and a bunch of neon tetras. Kyle and I spent the journey back talking about what I wanted to name them.

'I'm gonna name the tetra "Jonny", after the trumpet dude in the music society.'

'How will you tell which one's Jonny?'

'... I'm naming all of them Jonny.'

'Dan, are you ok...?'

'Why wouldn't I be?'

We got back and let the fish float in their bags for a while before letting them into the tank.

'Danny, what are you gonna name the betta?' Kyle asked, standing in front of the tank and watching the betta.

'Dunno. David? After David Lynch. Love that guy.'

'Dave the fish.'

'... I guess.'

An hour passed and we cut the bags open and released the fish. I sat in front of their tank and watched them intently.

'You really love fish, don't you Smithy?' Kyle smiled.

'... Yeah...'

'We should go to the aquarium some time. It's cute the way you watch them.' Kyle pulled his chair up next to mine and we watched the fish as the sun went down.


	9. Shenanigans

Kyle and I half-stumbled back into our dorm room at 2am after a pub crawl. The pair of us were slightly tipsy, although we had nothing on how drunk Charlie and Will got.

'Why the fuck did Will get that tattoo, man...' Kyle murmured.

I shrugged, 'hell if I know...' and flopped onto my bed.

Kyle flopped onto his bed. 'Your bed... is too far away.'

'We share beds half the time now, Simmo.'

'Our beds are too small...'

I rolled my eyes. 'We'll fucking... push them together then...'

'Alright let's do it.' Kyle jumped up and started pulling his bed away from the wall. I laughed a little and then did likewise with mine. We pushed the two beds together in the middle of the room.

Kyle belly-flopped onto the newly made double bed. 'This will be very good,' he said, his voice coming out mumbled as his face was buried in my pillow.

I sat down and ran my fingers through Kyle's hair. Kyle rolled over and he let out an 'ow!' as my finger found its way into his eye.

'Shit I'm _so_ sorry.'

'It's fine Danny.'

We sat in silence for a few moments.

'Da-a-a-an...'

'Ky-y-y-yle.'

'I wanna... play a lil game.'

'If you suggest Twister again, I'm walking out.'

Kyle laughed. 'No no no, like a challenge.'

I raised an eyebrow. 'Twister is a challenge.'

'Yeah, ok, I guess,' huffed Kyle. 'For real, listen to me.'

'I'm listening.'

Kyle sat up and pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened the clock app to timer. 'I set a time, and we kiss for that time, but we can't touch each other anywhere else. First person to touch the other, or pull away, loses, and the winner can do whatever to the loser. Within the loser's limits, obviously.'

I smiled. 'I'm perfectly fucking ok with kissing you for a long time.'

'Five minutes?'

'Bring it.'

Kyle set the timer to count down from five minutes. As he pressed start, I held my hands behind my back, Kyle held his belt loops, and our lips connected.

As our bodies swayed together and we breathed in time, I found myself focusing on the beeping of the timer. Then the breeze outside. Then on Kyle.

My head was fuzzy from the alcohol. All I could think about was Kyle.

Caught up in my own lack of straight thinking, I pushed Kyle down to the bed and lay on top of him, feeling his heart beating against my chest.

Realising slightly too late that I'd lost, I pulled away from Kyle's lips gently. Kyle grinned slyly. 'You lost, Danny.'

'Mmmm. Yeah. I did, didn't I,' I sighed. The reality of it was that I didn't mind that I'd lost.

Kyle rolled me off of him and wheeled my chair away from my desk. 'Danny, c'mere. Sit down.' I obediently rolled off the bed and sat on my chair, spinning back and forth slightly as Kyle rummaged in his cupboard.

'So... what are you doing?' I asked as I span in the chair.

'Before you ask any more questions, these were props from filming...' Kyle mumbled. I raised an eyebrow. Kyle pulled a length of rope out his cupboard and gave me a slightly diabolical grin. 'What's your safeword, Smithy?'

I felt my cheeks flush. 'Uh, fuck. Peaches?'

Kyle laughed. 'Is that because we watched Ice Age 3 the other day?'

'M-maybe.'

Kyle laughed again and kissed me on the forehead. 'I'll go easy on you.' He dropped the rope on the floor by the chair and turned to his wardrobe, and pulled out a tie. 'Close your eyes.'

I shut my eyes and I felt Kyle carefully wrap the tie around my eyes and knot it behind my head. 'Mind my hair...' I joked. Kyle let out a small laugh at that, and he ran his fingers through my hair, ruffling it slightly.  I squeezed my eyes slightly in happiness.

'Hands out,' Kyle instructed. I held them up for him. He wrapped some rope around one of wrists, guided it behind the chair, then took my other wrist behind the chair and wrapped rope around that too, tying my wrists close. His touch was so gentle the whole time and I felt safe. 'You feel ok?' he asked, running his fingers between the rope and my wrists to check for tightness.

'I'm fine.'

'Good.' Kyle kissed me on the neck and I shuddered slightly. 'Hold still.'

I felt him pass a length of rope over my chest, wind it around a couple of times, and tie it behind the back of the chair.

'You ok?'

'Y-yeah. I'm fine.'

'Feet together, Smithy.' I crossed my ankles over one another and Kyle carefully uncrossed them so my ankles touched. I felt him wind more rope around my ankles, just above the bone, and tie it snugly.

'Are you sure you're ok?'

'Yeah, I'm fine Kyle.'

Kyle kissed me softly on the lips and I gasped slightly when he pulled away from me. He slipped the tie off from over my eyes and I blinked a couple of times to adjust to the light.

'Your eyes are just. So pretty.' Kyle stroked my cheek with his thumb. Kyle sat on my lap and held my head in his hands and kissed me again. When he pulled away, I trailed him slightly.

I whined slightly. 'Y-you kiss well.'

Kyle winked, 'I know,' and he kissed me again.

The X-Files theme started to play from my phone behind me. Kyle got off of me, spun me around, and answered my phone.

'Hellloooo, Ralphy. Yeah, sorry. Danny's a bit tied up at the moment...' I could see Kyle fighting back his laughter. 'Glad Will's ok and in bed now. See you tomorrow!' He hung up.

'Did you _really_ make that joke?' I raised an eyebrow at him.

Kyle smiled. 'You know it.' He spun my chair around a couple of times. 'Kiss my ring, Danny...' Kyle said sarcastically as he held his hand in front of me. Despite knowing his mockery, I did so, and he giggled.

Kyle sat on my lap again, this time with one leg on either side of me, then wrapped around behind me. 'You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?' I asked.

'Of course. And this is me going easy on you.'

I blushed deeply at the thought of him going not easy on me. 'I-I'm glad.'

Kyle grabbed my head and kissed me deeply, his fingers buried in my hair. I tugged at my bindings in an attempt to hold him in the same way he held me, then relaxed and let Kyle kiss me.

Kyle gently pulled back. 'Danny, I have a feelings you're enjoying this as much as I am...' grinned Kyle. Before I could respond, he kissed me again. 'I've half a mind to leave you like this.'

'Nnnnnnn,' I moaned. 'My nose itches.'

Kyle kissed me again, reaching his hands behind me and untying my hands from one another. Hands freed, I gripped his face in my hands.

Kyle pulled away from me. 'You look tired, Danny.'

'So do you.'

'Hold on.'

Kyle started to untie the rope around my chest as I shook the rope off my wrists. We pulled the rope off my legs together.

Freed, I quickly stripped off my clothes and changed into my pyjamas. As I poked my head out my shirt, Kyle scooped me up bridal style.

'J-Jesus, Kyle!' I yelped in surprise. He spun around and dumped me unceremoniously on the bed before flicking the light off and jumping into his side.

'Sweet dreams, Smithy,' Kyle mumbled as he rolled over and laid his head on my chest.


	10. Hospital Worker

_'You've reached Daniel Smith- well, you've reached my voicemail. Leave a message for me and I'll get back to you.'_

_Hang up, redial._

_'You've reached Da-.'_

_Again. Hang up, redial._

_'You've reached Daniel Smith- well, you've reached my v-'_

_Hang up. Redial._

_'You've reached Daniel Smith- well, you've reached my voicemail. Leave a message for me and I'll get back to you.'_

_Might as well leave a message at this point... '... Dan... please pick up... I need some help...'_

_\- - - - -_

Everything was hectic. We had mock exams and everyone was studying their butts off for them.

We took a night off to celebrate Kyle's birthday. A smallish party in Ralph's flat. Kyle still managed to get absolutely shit-faced and threw up twice.

The pair of us fell asleep on the floor of Ralph's sitting room, Twilight the kitten curled on my chest.

The next day, I took Kyle back to our dorm room and he slept for most of the morning. Ralph's band were playing a pub that night so he left me to organise the music society meeting; we needed to get musicians to play for the upcoming football game. 

'Don't cause any fights later, yeah?' Ralph said as he hugged me, guitar case slung over his shoulder.

'I dunno, I heard that Charlie fellow is quite stand-up-ish...' I smirked. Ralph ended the embrace and we both laughed at the idea of Charlie trying to fight someone. 

'Seriously though, just choose the best people and don't let anyone argue. Will and Woody'll back you up on this. I trust you, bro.'

I nodded. Ralph loaded his guitar into the band's van and they drove off. 

\- - - - -

'I feel like clarinet music isn't gonna get anyone hyped for a football match,' Woody whispered in my ear as we watched a clarinet duet play. 

'Hey, be nice...' I whispered back. The duo finished. 'Uh, you- you were very good, but I don't think it'll fit for a footie match, sorry guys.' The pair looked at each other and shrugged, nodded at us, and sat back down.

'ALRIGHT! MY TURN!' Charlie jumped up. 

Will shook his head. 'He's... very enthusiastic.' Charlie set up his keyboard, guitar and pedals, microphone and loop station. 

Charlie started to record a few piano and vocal loops, then started playing his guitar to it like he was in a rock band, singing like nothing else.

I raised my eyebrow - I didn't realise he'd ever performed alone. 'He's... damn good,' I muttered. Kyle nodded in agreement. 

Charlie finished. 'Yeah, s'alright,' I teased and stuck my tongue out at him. He responded and stuck his tongue back out at me. 

My phone went off with a Twitter notification, and I noticed my phone had received a voicemail; I checked my phone notifications.

'Uh. I've got several missed calls and a voicemail from Ralph... I should... probably get that. D'ya mind, Charles?' Charlie shrugged and let me pop out the room to check my phone. 

The calls were from about fifteen minutes ago;  they should have finished up at the bar by that time. 'Maybe the others left him there...' I muttered and opened the voicemail.

 _'... Dan... please pick up... I need some help...'_ I heard on the voicemail, Ralph voice quiet.

I panicked. Ralph didn't sound good. I fumbled, nearly dropping my phone, to call back.

No answer.

I tried again.

The phone picked up.

'Oh god, Ralph, are you ok?' I spat down the phone as Will came out to check on me. 

'Sorry, this isn't Ralph...' a stranger's voice came from the other end.

'W-what do you mean it's not Ralph?!' I panicked and put the phone on speaker so Will could hear. He shut the door and looked at me.

'This is one of the doctors at the A&E... You're Dan, right? The phone said. Your friend came in after he was found passed out in a local bar's bathroom.'

'I'm- fuck!' I yelled. 'I'll be there as soon as I can.'

'I'll get Kyle,' Will exhaled and opened the door, calling for Kyle. 

Kyle came out and raised an eyebrow at me. 'What up, Smith?'

'Ralph's in A&E.'

'What the fuck?!'

'Drive me there.'

'Y-yeah, of course.' The pair of us ran to his car. Will stayed to talk to the others.

\- - - - -

'Ralph Pelleymounter, where is he?' I ran at the empty A&E desk, Kyle trailing behind me.

'Who are you in relationship to him?' the lady asked.

'I'm his best friend.'

'Bed four.'

'Thank you!' I ran off, grabbing Kyle's hand. I skidded to a halt outside the curtain with '4' on the floor outside, Kyle crashing into me. The nurse standing outside looked at me questioningly. 'I-I'm his friend, please. Let me see him. S-someone answered his phone to me.'

A doctor popped his head out the curtain. 'Dan, right?' I nodded. 'I recognised the voice. Come in.' I walked in, Kyle following. Ralph was laid on the bed, unconscious.

'What the fuck happened to him?' Kyle gasped. 

'We think he was assaulted for some reason...' the doctor sighed. 'Blunt force trauma to his head.'

'W-was his guitar with him?' I asked, twisting my fingers together.

The doctor shook his head. 'Maybe that's why he was attacked - for the guitar.'

'... it was a pretty nice guitar...' Kyle murmured. 

I wanted to scream. 'He'll be ok, he'll make it, right?'

The doctor gazed at Ralph. 'Should do.'

I was shaking, eyes brimming. '... fuck...'

_Please, Ralph, please be ok. I'm sorry I didn't pick up. I'm sorry._


	11. Banding Together

Ralph was in hospital for a fortnight. When he got out, we had a small, quiet gathering in Kyle and I's dorm room. Ralph made a comment about the beds being together and I blushed a deep red.

We fell back into routine slowly. Ralph was still recovering, but was doing well.

One evening, Will knocked on the door. Kyle was in the shower so I answered, yawning.

'Hey hey hey Danny!' Will hugged me.

'What do you want?' I asked, muffled by Will's shoulder in my face.

He pulled away from the hug, stepped into the room, and shut the door with his foot. 'Piano player. You play. You play _well_. Please, please, please?'

'You... you play keys.'

'We want a _pianist_ to do some cool, twinkly piano stuff like you do. And a vocalist would be nice.'

I raised my eyebrow at the last comment Will slipped in.

Kyle stepped out the bathroom. 'Why not just ask him into your band directly, Will...?'

Will gave a sarcastic 'shhhhh' at Kyle. 'For real though Dan. Join us. You'd do great! You've got a good voice and play really well.'

I scratched the back of my head. 'Sure, I guess.'

Will literally jumped and punched the air. 'Come to the flat tonight.' Will punched my arm lightly and left. I looked at Kyle and he grinned at me.

\- - - - -

Kyle and I gathered with Will, Charlie, Woody, and Ralph as his flat. Ralph had a large keyboard with weighted keys for me to use. He seemed happy that his mates' band finally had a vocalist.

'I'm really not that good,' I scratched my arm. 'They're fire me by the end of the night.'

'Shuddup, Dan,' Ralph gripped my shoulder, 'I know how good you can be, shy as you are.'

Kyle positioned himself to the right of me, poised to help with the higher keys. He really wanted to be a part of this lil band and was willing to learn - well, just about anything - to make it work.

My fingers hovered over the keys. I didn't know what to play. Kyle looked up at me. 'You should play that one you played me last night. What was it called again? Chemistry?'

I stifled a laugh. 'Alchemy, Kyle.'

Woody nodded in approval, twirling a drumstick. 'We'll listen to what you've got and then we can figure out what to do from there.' I smiled and nodded back.

My fingers started to dance over the keys as I played the intro of the song I'd written. Kyle stepped back and crossed him arms, watching my fingers intently.

I sang quietly. Ralph was the only one I'd played and sung properly to before. I was quiet when I played to Kyle the night before.

_~I will never look the way you do_   
_And I will never do the things you want me to_   
_And I-I will never write the way you do-o~_

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kyle smile. My fingers slipped and I played wrong note. I cringed, but I didn't see anyone else react. _They didn't notice, thank god,_ I thought.

_~And it is very plain to see that you want alchemy, right outta me_   
_You want alchemy-y-y~_

The rest of the song went smoothly. It felt like I was there for hours. As I played the last notes, I let out a breath. There was a pause, then the others clapped politely.

'You have a good voice, Danny,' Woody grinned.

'Th-thanks,' I responded, feeling my cheeks flush.

'Alriiiiiight! We're a proper band now!' Charlie jumped, then paused. 'We need... a name...' He stroked his scruffy chin in thought.

Kyle pointed at me. 'He's born on Bastille day, we could do something with that?'

'Stupid idea,' I scoffed. 'I hate history.'

'What about...' Will pouted,  '..." _Chaos Planet_ " _...'_ he spread his arms out as he said it, as if imagining the name in neon lights.

'We may as well name ourselves "Earth", Will,' Kyle said in jest. 'I like it though.'

We'd agreed on a name, surprisingly quickly. Woody proposed that we try and play a few more of my songs, and some covers -- we managed to start an arrangement of one of the songs I'd written. I felt happy knowing that people liked the songs I'd written.

Ralph, having played in a band a lot longer than us, gave us feedback. 'You know, you could try some stuff out for the open day next month,' he suggested. Kyle was incredibly excited about this idea, so we decided to do so.

It was late. Charlie, Kyle and I walked  back to our dorm rooms on campus. Back at the dorms, Charlie said his goodnights to us, and we parted ways.

Kyle and I got back to our room when he turned to me. 'You know, I'm proud of you,' he smiled.

I tilted my head slightly. 'How'd you mean?'

'You were nervous about playing, I could tell. I'm proud you managed to play. You really got into it at the end of the night.'

Kyle hugged me tightly and I returned the gesture.

We changed into our bed clothes and collapsed onto our make shift double bed. Kyle rested his head on my chest and I played with his hair.

He was drifting off when I started to sing quietly to him.

_~Ho-o-old me in this wild, wild world_   
_'Cause in your warmth I forget how cold it can be...~_

Kyle murmured a sleepy 'thank you' and fell asleep, his fingers entwined in mine.


	12. The Ride

Spring came around. The weather was warmer than usual for England. Kyle and I decided to spend a Friday evening exploring the nearby forest; Kyle took a small backpack of drinks of us.

We followed a mostly empty road towards the forest. There was no path so we walked in the road. The occasional car came screaming past us - Kyle had to pull me out the path of one in the nick of time.

It took twenty minutes to get deep into the forest and find an alcove. Kyle, in his tomfoolery, spun me round quickly and snuck off.

'Jesus, Kyle, why?'

'.... Polo,' I heard him reply from a small distance away.

I sighed and smiled as I walked towards the sound of his voice, calling 'Maarrcooo?' for him.

'Polo....!' came his reply from off to the side. I turned and tried to sneak toward him.

'Marco?'

'Polo!' He was closer now.

I paused and called out. 'Marrccoo?'

Kyle leapt and tackle-hugged me to the ground. 'Polo!' He was grinning as he sat on my stomach, legs either side of me. 'Hey Danny.' He poked me on the nose.

'Hello, Kyle.' I smiled.

'I hope I didn't hurt you,' Kyle poked me in the side and I giggled.

'Hey, no, stopppp....' I flailed my arms at him.

'You ticklish?'

'M-maybe?'

Kyle started to tickle me on the ribs and I squirmed beneath him, flailing my arms more. He stopped and kissed me on the forehead. 'Sorry Smithy.' Kyle rolled off me and helped me up. 'Wanna watch the sunset?'

I nodded and he grabbed my hand and we walked up to a clearing on a hill. The pair of us sat down on the grass and Kyle pulled a couple of beer cans out, one for each of us. My fingers twisted themselves around his as we drank, watching the sun set in a comfortable silence.

The sun dipped below the horizon and we found ourselves in the low light.

I took a drink and looked at Kyle. 'How are we gonna find our way back?'

Kyle put his drink down, rummaged in his bag, pulled out a large torch, and waved it in front of my face. I smiled at him, feeling a lot better.

I downed the rest of my drink and put the empty can down. I ran my fingers through the grass and stared at my lap. 'You planned all this, didn't you?' I asked Kyle.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Kyle down his drink and then look at me, so I turned my face to his. He gave me a warm smile, his eyes scrunching in happiness. 'Maybe.'

'Thank you. It's been good. I've enjoyed the quiet. Your company.' I pulled him into a hug.

The breeze picked up and both our empty cans were blown down the hill.

'Oh, f-fuck,' I muttered, making to get up to chase them.

'Hey, hey, there's no point. That side of the hill is steep as all shit; you'll trip and go tumbling down.' Kyle got up and gestured back the way we came. 'Home?' I nodded and took the hand he offered to help me up. 'Race you?' Kyle grinned, pointing down the hill.

'You're on,' I grinned back. He counted down and we went charging down the hill and back into the forest.

I got to the bottom of the hill a couple of seconds before Kyle. 'You went easy on me!' I jokingly punched Kyle on the arm. 'I could never outrun you.'

Kyle make an over-exaggerated wincing noise and winked. He took my hand and we walked back through the woods in the growing darkness.

The breeze had really picked up now. The light was dim and I could barely see. I shivered slightly.

Kyle wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me close.  'Do you want my coat?'

I nodded, not sure if he could see me. We paused and he took his coat off and slung it around me, and he took the torch out and flicked it on. We continued walking; Kyle had my hand in one of his and the torch in the other.

'Hey Danny. Maybe we'll see the Slenderman...'

'Are you kidding me?' I scoffed. 'Am I meant to be afraid of him?'

'Dude, have you seen him...?'

'He's a tall white guy. _We're_ tall white guys. Tall white guys are everywhere. I'm not afraid of a tall white guy.'

Kyle threw his head back and let out a laugh. 'You got me there.'

We walked the rest of the way out of the forest in a comfortable silence, content with being with one another. I had buttoned Kyle's coat up and buried my nose in the collar, immersing myself in his smell.

We both got back to the dorm room. Kyle hung his backpack on the hook on his cupboard as I slid his coat off and hung it over his chair. I took a quick shower and, when I came out, Kyle was already asleep. I scribbled some initial lyric ideas down on a notepad and slid into bed beside Kyle.

\- - - - -

Saturday evening and Kyle and I were gathered at the music society with the usual others.

Ralph, fully recovered, sat cross-legged on the couch to the left of me, and Kyle to my right. Ralph had a notebook and pen on his lap, the words 'OPEN EVENING' written and underlined twice at the top.

'Dan,' Ralph gestured to me. 'Wanna show me what you got?'

I scratched my neck nervously and shuffled towards the piano. I placed the scruffy sheet music that I'd written with Ralph's help in the morning on the piano.

'Th-this is called The Ride. It's a work in progress...'

Astutely aware of Kyle watching me, I started to play.

_~It's us against the cars, man_   
_They can bloody well avoid us_   
_Down these narrow leafy roads_   
_That seem deserted just for us...~_

I looked over at Kyle briefly to see a smile growing on his face.

_~We'll charge on down the hill with gravity on our side_   
_As it carries us away,_   
_You'll take me along for the ri-i-ide...~_

I felt very self-conscious about performing a song about Kyle.

_~I, I, I_   
_I can't see the world around me now,_   
_I can't tell the wood from the trees,_   
_But I hear you by my side...~_

My voice wavered slightly as I kept singing.

_~It's the first of summer evenings,_   
_Of taking drinks outside,_   
_Of the grass between my fingers,_   
_With you sitting beside...~_

I closed my eyes for a moment, thinking about last night, as I kept singing and playing.

_~There's darkness all around me now,_   
_I can't feel nothing but the breeze,_   
_But you're with me for the ride...~_

Like I said earlier. Work in progress. I trailed off as well as I could. 'Yeah. N-not quite finished.' I spun off the stool, took my music, and sat back between Ralph and Kyle.

Ralph patted me on the back. 'You have the choice between playing with the band, or solo. Your choice, buddy.'

'Band, definitely band,' I replied almost instantly.

Ralph nodded and noted a 'Chaos Planet' on his notepad. 'Just wanted to make sure you were fine with it, being the singer and all.'

I turned to Kyle. He pulled my face in for a kiss and I heard the room go 'awh' at us. I pulled away and blushed deeply, burying my head in my hands.


	13. Headspin, happiness, death

**[TW: body image, suicide]**

_'_ _Smith, stop being such a tomboy.'_

_'I... I'm not a tomboy... Just the "boy" part...'_

_'Sure.'_

'Dan? Dan? Hey, wake up,' Kyle shook me carefully awake. 'You were groaning. You seemed upset...' In the half life, I could see the concern in his eyes.

I buried my head in his chest. 'I... don't wanna talk about it.'

Kyle rested his head on mine and we fell back asleep together.

\- - - - -

When I woke again, Kyle had gone. I rubbed my eyes and climbed out of bed; there was a note on my desk:

_Early footie practise today, sorry Smithy. Be back by lunch._

_Kyle :)_

I smiled at his scruffy, hastily-written note and traced my fingers over the words.

It was 9:34 and I decided to take a shower to wake up properly, then go out to see Kyle practising.

As I was getting my stuff together, my phone buzzed on my desk a couple of times. I threw my towel into the en suite and checked the text.

_'Sorry Dan. Tomorrow's appointment's been pushed back to next month; family emergency. I'll text with a new date and time._

_\- John.'_

John was my gender therapist. I was meant to be starting hormones tomorrow.

'Th-this isn't f-fair...' I murmured. My head knew I was being stupid - this guy has family - but my heart couldn't take it.

I threw my phone onto my bed and let out a small cry of exasperation. Then went for my shower.

Which was a mistake.

I stood in the shower and I hated what I was. I slid against the wall and down until I sat on the floor of the shower. Lethargic. Apathetic. The water hit my head and I didn't move.

I got out the shower - slowly - half an hour later. I glared at myself in the mirror.

'D-don't... break another mirror, Danny...' I muttered to myself, fist clenched. I got dressed and collapsed onto my bed.

I kept reading the text over and over and over again.

 _'You'll never get them,'_ niggled a voice in the back of my head. _'Pinocchio's more of a real boy than you.'_

Time to do something... stupid.

I couldn't handle the idea of what I was. That I couldn't be what I wanted to be. That I wasn't good enough for Kyle.

I felt dizzy.

I pulled the bottle of wine from under the bed, then took the pills from the cupboard in the shower room. Then I downed the lot.

\- - - - -

'Hey Dan, I'm back! I've got lunch for u- oh Jesus fucking shit,' I heard Kyle distantly. I heard him drop every thing and shut the door firmly.

'Hey babe...' I slurred.

'Danny, what the fuck?' Kyle knelt beside me as I lay on the bed. I took another swig of the beer can I'd gotten.

'Isokay...' I slurred. 'I'mnot... goodenough for  ya anyywayyy....' I went to down the can and Kyle snatched it from my hand.

'Dan, what the fuck did you take?!' I heard the alarm in his voice and opened my eyes slightly. He was looking around in panic.

'A bottle o wine and three cans o beer and two packs of paracetamol and...'

'... Jesus, I get it.' Kyle pulled me up and dragged me to the bathroom. I was fading in and out of consciousness. Kyle made me kneel in front of the toilet and I felt him stick his fingers down my throat.

I bit him. 'Dude.... wha da fuckkk....'

'Hey, oi, I'm tryna help you here!' Kyle was exasperated.  He stuck his fingers down my throat again. 'You gotta throw that shit up man...' His other hand was holding my damp hair away from my face.

I retched but nothing happened.

'Christ, Dan. Why?'

'I'm... fuckin... awful, Simmo... look a me...' I slumped back into his arms.

'You're not awful, Danny. I love you. Even if you don't love you.'

One arm wrapped around me, Kyle pulled his phone out his pocket with the other.

'Ralph? Help...'

Ralph arrived a few minutes later. Kyle still try to make me throw up.

'Jesus, what the fuck?'

'That's what I said,' Kyle responded.

As I faded out of consciousness, I heard Ralph call for an ambulance, and Kyle yell at me to stay awake.

\- - - - -

I remember snatches of what happened. The paramedics looking at me in the shower room. The ambulance. Kyle being in the ambulance with me, watching me all the time. The sirens. The tears Kyle tried to hide. The sterile whiteness of the hospital. Throwing up. Kyle always being there. Always Kyle. Always him.

'... I'm sorry... I did this to you...' I murmured to Kyle.


	14. In your warmth

'... quiet without you, Danny. I keep thinking I'll see you at the dorm. I know it's only been a couple of days, but-'

'Hmm?' I murmured. I didn't remember much.

'Danny?!'

'Mm, yeah. Loud...' I rubbed my eyes.

'Sorry, sorry,' Kyle lowered his voice. He kissed my forehead. 'Jesus. I... fuck.'

Kyle's voice cracked and he held my hand in both of his.

'What happened...?'

'You've been real drowsy the past couple days since... y'know. Incoherent, but stable.'

'How long have you been here?' I yawned.

'Every day after classes I drop my bags off, come visit, then go when visiting hours end.'

'... thank you...' I drifted back to sleep.

\- - - - -

The hospital discharged me the following morning. I'd never seen Kyle so happy. I could tell he wanted to bounce around, but he restrained himself.

'D'ya wanna go to the park?' Kyle asked as we walked out the hospital.

'Don't see why not.'

We dropped my old clothes back at the dorm (Kyle bought me a change when he found out I was being discharged), and took the bus to the park.

We got off the bus and walked around a bit, Kyle pointed out various dogs and squirrels.

'Dude, it's fucking cold,' I grumbled, pulling the zipper of my hoodie to the top and pulling the hood over my head, adjusting my glasses.

Kyle tugged the hoodie strings and made it tighten around my face. He poked my nose.

'Dude come on,' I wriggled my head out. Kyle grinned and took my hand.

'Alright, Danny. Let's go get coffee.'

'You don't even like coffee.'

'Coffee for you, silly. Better than that hospital crap you would have had.'

I smiled and he smiled back, leading the way to my favourite coffee shop. It was a small place that Charlie introduced me to. He nerded out over the place when he showed it to me. I didn't understand most of it but he seemed happy to show it to me.

Kyle pulled the door open and gently pushed me inside before him. 'Go sit down, I'll get the stuff.'

'Kyle, you really don't h-'

'Shhh........' Kyle hushed me as he put a finger to my lips and gestured with his eyes for me to sit at a table. I rolled my eyes sarcastically and sat in the squidgy couch in the corner.

I watched out the window as raindrops started to fall slowly. People hurried about, covering their heads with all variety of things, from newspapers to umbrellas to their own hands.

Things felt... real, again. Normal.

Kyle snapped me out of my trance and he set a tray down on the table and flopped next to me. Two steaming mugs were on the tray on the table in front of us.

'Yours is the one on the right,' Kyle said, gesturing at the larger mug. 'Your favourite.'

I scooped the mug up with both hands, too-long hoodie sleeves covering all but the tips of my fingers. I let my glasses steam up slightly.

As I took a sip from the mug, I could see Kyle pull a sarcastic face. 'I don't get how you can drink straight, black coffee man...'

'It's better than that Red Bull shit you drink half the time.'

'Touché, Smithers,' he replied as he reached for his own drink. Kyle had bought himself a hot chocolate, whipped cream and all. When he took a drink, the some of the cream stuck to his nose. He went cross-eyed trying to look at it.

'You're an idiot,' I smiled, wiping the cream off his nose with my thumb.

Kyle sucked the cream off my thumb without any prompting. 'You love me really.' He wiped some of the steam from my glasses with his sleeve.

I leant into Kyle's side and he wrapped his free hand around me. I pulled my legs up to my chest and took another sip of my coffee.

We sat in comfortable quiet. The rain pattered against the glass, the bell on the door rang as people came and went, the baristas making their drinks. A dog came in and Kyle watched it with great intent until it left with its owner.

The rain died down as we finished our drinks and the sun began to shine again.

'Wanna head home, sleepyhead?' Kyle asked, putting his empty mug on the tray on the table and ruffling my hair.

I nodded and sat up properly, placing my mug next to Kyle's. I took his hand and we left the coffee shop.

A rainbow had formed in the sky above us. We gazed at it as we walked.

'... I'm sorry,' I muttered to Kyle and looked at my feet.

'What for?'

'Putting you through all that shit I did.'

Kyle pulled me to one side of the pavement and held both my hands tight. 'Hey, Danny, look at me.'

I looked up at him. His eyes were soft. Tired, but soft.

'I'm just so, so glad you're ok. I know how you feel, ok?' Kyle trailed off for a moment. 'Just... talk to me. I love you with all my heart. I know it's hard, but I'm here for you. So are Ralph and the others. We'll keep you safe.'

Kyle's forehead touched mine and we looked each other in the eye.

'Promise me you'll talk to one of us?'

'I promise.'

Kyle took my cheek in his hand and kissed me on the lips, slightly bumping my glasses.

'Let's get home.'


	15. 4am

Kyle came back to the dorm at a ridiculous time, drunk out of his mind. His crashing into the room woke me up and I squinted at his silhouette in the doorway before he clumsily shut the door.

'Kyle... what the hell...?' I asked, rubbing my eyes and propping myself up on my elbow. 'This isn't like you...'

'....I'm sorry, Danny....' slurred Kyle. He collapsed onto the bed and his head fell onto my chest. 'I just got so.... overwhelmed suddenly...'

'It's okay,' I said, running my hands through his birds-nest hair. Kyle kicked his shoes off and curled into the foetal position, his head still on my chest.

We lay in silence for a few moments before I heard Kyle stifle a sob. I turned my bedside lamp on to see my mess of a boyfriend looking so vulnerable, curled up, sobbing gently into his hands.

'Hey, hey, Kyle...? What's the matter?' I asked, taking his hands. I positioned Kyle into a sitting position then got a glass of water for him, then sat beside him.

He sobbed as he took a sip of the water.  'Y'know... I'd never felt so _scared_ before, Danny...' he sobbed. 'I've never really been one to be scared, even when my parents screamed at me, kicked me out.'

'I- I don't understand...'

Kyle looked at the glass in his hand and bit his lower lip. 'I was just so scared of losing _you,_ Smith...!' Kyle sniffed. 'When you were in hospital... I'd wake up in the middle of the night... without you. I was so scared of losing you. 4am, the fear that came with it, the fear of being told you'd _never_ come back here...'

Kyle's grip on his glass was white-knuckle and I gently took it from his hands and placed it on the bedside table for fear of him smashing it accidentally.

I wrapped my arm around Kyle and held him tight as he continued to slur through his sobs.

'You are... the kindest person I've ever met, Daniel... I don't think there's a cruel bone in your body. You gave me so much love that my parents didn't... Fuck, I don't know what I would have done without you.'

Kyle buried his head into my chest and threw his arms around my neck. I wrapped both my arms around his torso, comforting him as best as I could.

'Kyle... I love you... I'm sorry I put you through that,' I said into his ear.

Kyle's breathing had slowed as he calmed down. He pulled away and smiled at me, his eyes bloodshot from crying and tiredness.

'C'mon, Kyle. Go have a shower and get into PJs. You need some sleep.' I helped Kyle to the shower room and sat outside as he washed, making sure he didn't fall. When he stumbled back out, his hair was a dripping mess and I had to help him dry it off.

We collapsed into bed together. Kyle wrapped his arms around me and fell asleep so, so quickly. He was mumbling in his sleep contentedly. I kissed him on the nose and turned the bedside lamp off, then shut my eyes.

As I drifted off, I swear I heard Kyle mutter 'I love you, Daniel.'


	16. Dungeons and Daniel

Kyle always called me a 'traditional nerd'. I never knew what he meant.

'Danny, there's traditional nerds like you, who read all the classics or do advanced quantum physics, then there's  _nerds_ who know tv show lore inside out and play D&D,' Kyle said to me one afternoon when I asked him what he meant. He sat with his head on my chest and swirled a glass of wine around in his hand, staring at it intently. 'You would be  _absolutely_  lost trying to play a game of D&D.'

'And you wouldn't?' I tried to retort. 'You don't exactly look like the type t-' Kyle cut me off by kissing me on the lips.

'Hush your noise. I can prove that I'm right. A few pals and I are starting a new campaign in a few nights and  _you_ , Mr Smith, are gonna join in.' Kyle jumped off the bed and offered me his feee hand. 'C'mon.'

'Where... are we going...?' I asked as I took his hand.

'The library, to meet Will. Will's our DM. He and I will help you make a character. 20 quid says you'll fuck it up.'

I scoffed. '20 quid says I'll do well in the game.'

So that's how I ended up joining Kyle's Dungeons and Dragons group. A stupid, tipsy bet about how much I fitted Kyle's definition of a nerd.

It took me about half an hour to make my character. Kyle kept calling me boring for my choices:

'Can I just... play as a human?'

'You can, but that's boring Danny. Fantasy game! Fantasy races! And you... wanna be a human?'

'... Fine. I'll be a wood elf.'

'Atta boy.'

'What do elves do? Magical shit?'

'Please don't be a wizard, that's  _boring,_  Daniel...'

'Don't care,' I stuck my tongue out at Kyle and scribbled  _wizard_  down on my sheet. 'Magical shit equals wizard.'

In the end, Will told Kyle to 'shut up and stop being an ass', to which Kyle decided to mope in an exaggerated fashion.

The stats stuff we did with Will. I finished all that and dragged Kyle back to our room so I could attempt to draw the portrait.

'You know Will can draw, and draw  _well_ , right?' Kyle asked as we opened our room door.

'... lemme try, at least.'

I tried and failed, and returned reluctantly to ask Will to draw something for me.

\- - - - -

Kyle and I stood outside the door of the room Will had organised for the game.

'You know I have no idea what I'm doing right?' I said as I looked at Kyle.

Kyle adjusted my glasses and smiled. 'You'll be fine.'

Will opened the door. 'Alright, lover boys?' He was wearing glasses, which was new to me. He grinned and ushered us in.

It was an average size room with a large window facing the door and a table at the centre. Six chairs surrounded it, six differently coloured sets of dice at each space, as well as a pencil . A hand made map, almost like a blueprint, was spread out on the table. There was a box of snacks and drinks under the table.

'We've just gotta wait on the others,' Will said, looking at his watch. 'You two can take a seat and... set up, have a snack, whatever. Tell Dan the basics, eh Kyle?'

Kyle and I sat next to each other at the side of the table next to the window and set our character sheets down. I fiddled with the dice as Kyle rapidly ran the necessary rules past me.

It took twenty minutes for the others to arrive. I recognised them all from when they'd talk to the others but I didn't know them particularly well.  
A blonde-haired girl called Cali sat across from me. She didn't strike me as the time to be playing this sort of thing, with her well done hair and makeup, but she seemed really excited to get started.   
Jonny from the music society arrived next. Him and Kyle pointed at each other, whooped, and high-fived before Jonny say opposite Kyle. They discussed how they thought I'd do and I blushed.  
The last to arrive was a sleepy, messy-haired individual, Red Bull in one hand, character sheet in the other. Their hair was a faded red and dark roots were starting to show. I couldn't help but notice their vitiligo on their neck where the sunlight hit them.

'Alright, Jay?' Will asked them as he sat at the head of the table. Jay nodded and sat themselves down at the other end of the table.

Will made us all do introductions. Kyle had already opened a bag of Doritos.

The game started off more intense than I expected: the party gathered in a tavern, fighting happened, they all got arrested. The warden gave the party the choice of a long prison stint or a question to find some magical shit.

I whispered to Kyle, 'why don't they take the quest and run off...?'

Kyle rolled his eyes. 'There wouldn't be a game if they did.'

As I opened my mouth to argue how there could still be a game, Kyle shoved a Dorito into my mouth.

A couple of hours passed. The party had wound up in a desert and I had only proven Kyle correct in that I was awful at the game, much to the displeasure of my wallet.

Kyle kept teasing me as we left the room at the end of the session. 'Dude, you nearly died in the  _first_  session, pay up.'

I stuck my tongue out at him as I pulled my wallet from my back pocket and reluctantly handed over £20. 'It's not my fault that I failed at dodging. I think I'll stick to being a book nerd...' I scratched the back of my neck.

'C'mon Smithy, let's go get some drinks. You're good at drinking.' Kyle winked at me and waved the £20 note I gave him. 'I'll pay.'

'You fucker.'


	17. bad_news

I stood outside the bar with Ralph. The sky was a navy blue and the streetlights were orange. I didn't smoke often, neither did Ralph, but I'd been feeling stressed out over something, so I asked Ralph if he had any on him, and he did, so here we were.

I took a drag as Ralph looked at me with some concern in his eyes. 'I know you only do this when something's up, Danny.'

I huffed the smoke out of my nostrils in a snort as I took the cigarette away from my lips. 'Kyle's been... weird. Like, on edge. And I know it's not exam stress.'

Ralph looked away from me and out to the street as he took a drag himself and nodded slightly. 'Anything happen between the two of you?' he asked when he was done.

I bounced the cigarette between my fingers and watched the ash fall to the ground. 'Nothing that I can think of.

'Have you tried asking him what's up?'

'... I don't know how to broach the subject. I guess I'm afraid that he'll say it's something I did.' I lipped my dry lips and stuck the cigarette back into my mouth. 'I bet you're gonna tell me to talk to him.' Ralph nodded as I inhaled more smoke. I hated the taste of the smoke but there was something about the horrid, ashy, tar taste that helped me keep a grip on reality.

I inhaled too long and coughed, cigarette falling to the floor, smoke coming out of my mouth like a dragon with a cold. Ralph firmly hit me on the back with his palm a couple of times before I stood up straight again.

Ralph looked me in the eye, cigarette in one hand, his other hand on my shoulder. 'Talk to him. When he's sober, so not tonight. You're his boyfriend for Christ's sake, he's not gonna hide something important if you care about him.' I nodded. Ralph finished up his cigarette and we headed back into the bar.

\- - - - -

Kyle and I lay in our makeshift double-bed. He stared at the ceiling as I rested my head on his bare chest. He let out a deep sigh.

'Kyle, is something up?' I asked him.

He threaded his fingers through my hair and I shut my eyes, focusing on his touch.

'... I'm fine,' he replied after a moment of silence.

'You're lying.'

'...'

'You've been acting differently for the past week or so.'

Kyle sighed again. 'I'm okay. Trust me.'

'I'm your boyfriend, for fuck's sake!' I grumbled, mirroring what Ralph said to me. Quietly, I continued, '... I trust you to tell me if something's wrong so you don't have to be stuck dealing with it on your own.'

Kyle gently pushed me off his chest and sat up. He attempted to conceal the tears welling in his eyes.

'I know you're just gonna keep pestering me if I don't tell you,' he said as I sat rolled onto my back and then sat up. 'You've met my uncle, back before the ball. He's the only reason I can even come here. The only family I really have. And he's sick. Like, sick, sick. The doctors keep telling us he'll be ok, and he keeps telling me not to worry, but it's hard to not worry when he's the closest thing to a loving dad that I'll ever have.'

Tears were full on coming out of Kyle's eyes now and he was trying to stifle his sobs. I pull him in and let his face burrow into the crook of my neck, and we sat there, silent save for Kyle's muffled cries. I ran my hand up and down him back in an attempt to calm him. He hugged me, one fist gripping my t-shirt, the other hand buried in my messy hair.

Kyle's breathing slowed and his tears stopped, and he pulled his face away from me as he released his grip. His eyes were red and my t-shirt had a wet patch made of an awful mix of tears, snot, and some saliva. Kyle snorted a laugh as he saw the mess he made. 'Oh god, I'm so sorry.'

I smiled at him, shrugging. 'I've got other shirts.' I slid out of bed and grabbed a change of clothes, then stepped into the bathroom to get changed.

When I came out, Kyle was dressed as well. His eyes were less red and he beamed at me. 'Smithers, I think we need breakfast.'

'Simmo,' I grinned back, 'I concur. And I am treating you to a Maccie's breakfast, since you've been craving one so much.'

'I would kill for a hash brown.'

'I advice that you don't.'

We stood facing each other in the middle of the room and, with our eyes still locked on one another's, entwined our fingers together. Kyle smoothed my hair with his free hand.

\- - - - -

Kyle and I sat across from each other in the fast food restaurant. Kyle had been eating mostly in silence, occasionally smiling at me when he looked up from his phone.

He swallowed and looked up at me, and asked, 'You got any good news? Since hospitals and shit are just depressing as hell...'

I nodded in response and took a drink of my coffee. 'Got a new appointment at the clinic,' I smiled.

A smile grew across Kyle's face, mirroring mine. 'Hell yeah!' He was still smiling as he took another bite of his hash brown.

I tapped my fingers on the top of my coffee. 'Would... would you come along with me...?'

Kyle looked up at me, still chewing, crumbs on the side of his mouth. 'Me?' Kyle mumbled, mouth full. I nodded, then gestured to myself to indicate the position of crumbs on Kyle. He swallowed and wiped his mouth. 'Are you sure?'

'Why wouldn't I be?'

'... Y'know. Personal shit for you.'

'Kyle. I trust you with my life.'

I grinned and he grinned back at me. 'Awesome.'

We ate the rest of breakfast in pleasant quiet, feeling the happiness radiate off of each other.


End file.
